The Juan Reyes

SO

Who’s Recommending me to the directory at midnight? Remember, everyone who recommends me is entered in a drawing for a chance to win an all new thing! 

I’ve been begging my good-hearted, affable, attractive followers for WEEKS now, but I’m not even at the bottom! Remember when I thought I counted as a strictly Art blog? 

That worked, what, are you saying I don’t have any personality? D: Oh, but Gary Mother Fucking Oak does, right? 

I mean, you don’t have to, but if you don’t, I’ll kill your birth-parents. Just saying. 

AVENGE ME

And my Internet.
Guess what? Still cut. “tomorrow” my parents are supposed to be getting it back.

The only way to ease this pain is to recommend me to the directory under personalities. I’d give you the direct link but that’s a lot of work for my huge fingers on this tiny iTouch that my cousin
Hasn’t picked up yet. THANK GOD.

Just think, somewhere out there, in Brooklyn there’s a sweaty, overweight guy, straining his chubby widdle thumbs on an itouch, just because he missed his insanely attractive followers so much.

I miss you Internet. Even though you don’t miss me. I hadn’t posted in a day and I got no
“omg are you dead” messages, no woriried tweets, not even a wall post to see if I was alive. Well, I am alive. And tweeting, posting and messaging me would have been stupid, since I would not have been able to see it.

Anyway, you should recommend me. I miss you, and if you’re reading this on twitter, I miss you too. I am just really bad with this iTouch. I accidentally E-mailed a picture of my toe to my old English professor.

I was not expecting her to reply with a picture of her vagina though, totally caught off gaurd there.